It certainly
doesn't feel like four years since I was strutting into the high school on my
first day of freshman year. While I've tried to repress certain memories from
the puberty asylum (known as middle school) and a few years thereafter, even a
moderate dose of reflection provides me with some appreciation for where I am
today.
Academically, it
feels like I've been here barely a few weeks: each repetitive routine played itself
out for a year, and the next year was simply a different daily routine, rather
than nine months of new experiences. As far as school itself, I've only lived
four different days in the last four years: one routine for each grade.
Academically, any single day in the last four years was just as useless (or
useful) to me as another day lived in that year’s routine.
For almost every
lunch in the last four years you could unzip my black backpack (messenger bag
if it was freshman year) and pull out a brown lunch bag. In the lunch bag, you
would find a ham sandwich. On the first day of freshman year my adolescent
appetite needed anything it could get, and the ham sandwich was fine.
Eventually, though, maybe around the 281st ham sandwich, I lost my enthusiasm
for what was once a significant choice to me.
Essentially, my practiced routines overshadowed the
initial choices I made to create those routines. I no longer eat a ham sandwich
every day, but I do choose to eat a ham sandwich every day. Self-awareness can serve
as an antidote to the tiresome effects of routine.
When I realized I had lost all enthusiasm for that
once so ideal sandwich, I realized that I could not genuinely blame anyone but
myself. I was the one who defrosted those two whole-wheat slices of bread each
day and methodically laid down the four pieces of honey-smoked ham, stratifying
the curvature to ensure equal distributi... never mind. The point is, nobody
forced me to eat/hate the sandwich, it was a choice I made myself.
Hopefully you realize this is not necessarily about my
lunch. As the class of 2013 departs, I continue to hear lamentations about how
West Jessamine High has ruined our last four years, and that we can finally
move on to something better.
I beg to differ.
Those who haven’t enjoyed the last four years will
be, at best, hopeless when they “move on” to a period with more powerful
authorities, larger groups of conformists, and more consequences at stake for
their own futures. At some point, you’ve got to find a way to enjoy your ham
sandwich.
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